Tim Burton loves me.
Platonically, of course. I'm not quite sure how it happened, but here's what I think. He was traveling incognito and found himself in Kentucky and we ran into each other and I did something awesome to impress him, not realizing he was Tim Burton. You know, like that old lady who went to this movie theater and asked the usher for a glass of water and he brought her one then the next week she died and she left all of her money to the nice kid who gave her a glass of water? I think it happened like that.
So Tim Burton went home and told Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter all about me and they decided, as reward for my general awesomeness, they would make a bunch of great movies together.
This is the only way I can explain the fact that Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter would never let me walk into a bad movie. Ever. Even mediocrity is unacceptable. It has to be an amazing movie every single time. You're welcome.
All jokes aside, I know I can't reasonably take credit for how awesome all his movies are, but it's nice to dream. Sometimes it feels like that though doesn't it? Like your favorite directors and actors really just do it for you? I feel that way about Tim Burton.
Ever since my first experience with him, watching Edward Scissorhands at the multiplex theater at the California Club Mall, I've been completely besotted. Who didn't want a superpale, sensitive boyfriend who might accidentally slice you to ribbons after they saw that movie? Hands in the air, ladies!
But back on task, now. Alice in Wonderland. Let's discuss.
In this beautiful re-imagining of the classic tale by Lewis Carroll, we join Alice thirteen years after her visit to Wonderland.
Long since believing her adventures in Wonderland were but a child's dream and grieving the loss of her father, Alice is about to turn the page into womanhood and reluctantly accept the proposal of the self important, priggish son of her father's business partner.
Her morning gets curiouser and curiouser when she spies a rabbit in a waistcoat summoning her. Impulsively, she follows him back to Wonderland where she finds her friends in trouble and oppressed by the cruelty of the Red Queen.
Her friends, having anxiously waited her return, believe that Alice is the only one who can defeat the terrifying Jabberwocky and restore the White Queen back to power, ushering in the long awaited Frabjious Day.
This movie was visually absolutely glorious. The best way I can think to describe it is part Narnia, part Lord of the Rings, with a dash of Burton's famous macabre. Alice's world was fresh and light and dainty. Wonderland was fantastical, but beautifully faded from it's former glory.
And the costumes. Don't get me started. I'll gush. I'll go on at length. At Length.
I don't really need to say this because everyone already knows, but for formality's sake I'll just mention that the performances are excellent.
Of course Johnny Depp's Mad Hatter was cleverly and creatively done.
Of course Helena Bonham Carter was a total beast as the Red queen.
But here's a surprise. Crispin Glover, who is always great, was actually a bit dishy. I know, right?
I kid, I kid.
Each performance was wonderful, the actors, even though most of them were animated, acted as a cohesive unit.
I had such a wonderful time watching this movie, and yes I am a bit biased, because I went in expecting to love it, but I can approach things with an open mind. I thought Gamer was lame even though Gerard Butler was in it.